Thanksgiving is out of the way, but we still have plenty of the holiday season to go, and for many that means plenty of gatherings with relatives to go. But can we prepare for that better with more reasonable expectations? Jim Russell from the Mental Health 708 Board joined Linda Bolton on 1490 WDAN’s News Makers program, and he says, YES WE CAN. For example, if you are with a group of people where a conflict might occur, know the history of what occurred before. And instead of just figuring things will be perfect this time, EXPECT something to happen. Because how you respond could make or break the whole visit.
AUDIO: There’s always going to be something that rubs somebody the wrong way. And part of the expectation needs to include that; that there’s going to be some little thing, or maybe a big thing, that goes wrong.
Russell says we need to remember that the perfect family gathering, let alone the perfect family, does not exist. And when new people join a group already talking, dynamics will change. After all, we are only human, so we must expect human things to happen.
AUDIO: I’m going to have the perfect wedding, or the perfect Thanksgiving, the perfect baby shower, or the perfect Christmas, or the perfect whatever it is. And then if something happens to mar that perfection, then I blame whomever I think is responsible for messing it up.
Russell says the three most dangerous events for extended family conflicts, and where we must be mentally prepared, are holiday gatherings, weddings, and funerals.
